The Inadequacy Disease
But Am I Good Enough?
How much time and energy have you wasted over the years on the ‘am I good enough’ question? If you’re like the majority, the answer will be, plenty. Or, maybe you’ve bypassed that question altogether and gone straight to the I know I’m not good enough belief.
Just to save time. 😉
Am I good enough for that person? Am I good enough to belong in that group? Am I good enough to pass that exam? To do that job? To run that race? To have that opinion? To wear those clothes? To open that business? To write that book? To be a leader? To get to heaven? To be loved? It’s kind of exhausting isn’t it?
And kind of unnecessary.
Born Good Enough
If you don’t know already, I’ll tell you now: you were born good enough. It’s only your thinking, beliefs and fear that get in the way. Naturally, we all have strengths, weaknesses and flaws but the underlying question we seem to want answered is not really, ‘am I good enough to do A, B or C?’ but rather, ‘am I (me, the person) good enough in general? This kind of common thinking and self-doubt speaks to our sense of unworthiness and insecurity. For a range of reasons, many of us seem to live with an overwhelming feeling of inadequacy.
Knowledge vs Feelings
Interestingly, what we know intellectually and logically (I am good enough) doesn’t always align with how we feel (I am shit) in certain situations, circumstances and even, relationships. Sound familiar?
Of course, feeling inadequate is a very human trait (not many Golden Retrievers stress about how big their arse looks or what the dog across the road thinks of them) but it’s also an unhealthy one. And while it’s great to be loved, valued and appreciated, it’s not great to be addicted to the approval and acceptance of others. In fact, it’s horribly disempowering.
Time To Let Go?
In a world that seems to be obsessed with power, money, appearance and perfection, it’s easy to see how so many of us ended up in this unhealthy place. For some of you reading this, it might be time to let go of the striving, the stressing, the acting and the compromising. In the context of your life and what you choose to do with it, the only approval you need is yours. So, take a deep breath, be still for a moment and breathe out all that anxiety and self-doubt. It’s okay.
And more importantly, so are you. 🙂