The You Quartet
It’s been said that we all have several versions of us. Here’s four people that might resonate.
1. Secret You. The only person who ever gets to meet Secret You, is you. Other people might think they know Secret You but they don’t. Secret You is you at your most authentic, raw and unfiltered; it’s nobody’s watching you. Secret You is the person you live with 24/7 and not always someone you like. In fact, sometimes Secret You drives you nuts; often as a result of your chronic over-thinking. By the way, if you think you know everything about your partner (I mean everything), you might want to think again.
2. Private You: Typically, only a select few get to meet Private You. More often than not, it’s only one person at any given time and in most cases, that person is your partner. The person who gets to know Private You is privileged as you have shown great trust and allowed yourself to be vulnerable. Which is both terrifying and exhilarating. Private You longs for connection, communication and intimacy (be that physical, emotional or both) and unless you live in a bubble, there’s every chance that Private You will have your heart ripped out at some stage. Sadly, it happens.
3. Personal You. Your friends and family typically have access to this version of you. Personal You is generally quite likable but also more calculating, discerning and measured in conversation and interaction than Private You. Personal You is still authentic and honest but only to the point where you believe your authenticity and honesty will be respected and appreciated. In Personal You mode, it’s often what you don’t say (rather than what you do) that reveals the most about you.
4. Public You. Public You is sometimes referred to as the You Show; looks like you but quite often, isn’t. We all have a public ‘switch’ that flicks on in certain situations, conversations and environments. While Public You might be somewhat self-conscious, nervous and even awkward at times, there are also times when Public You is funny, interesting, generous, courageous and kind. For some people, their public persona is a total fraud; an illusion designed to create some kind of impression, statement or distraction. This role-playing happens for a range of reasons but invariably it comes down to fear, insecurity and a desire to be liked, loved and wanted.
So maybe you’re wondering, exactly which Craig wrote this post? Or should I say, Craigs? 😉